November is National Family Caregiver Month, Check out these cost effective ways to care for yourself while caregiving.
Ten Ways to Care for Yourself While Caring for a Loved One
By Andrea Merit, ASW, MSW
November is National Family Caregiver Month. Check out these cost effective ways to care for yourself while caregiving. Nearly one-quarter of adults in the U.S. are caregivers, according to a report titled "Caregiving in the U.S. 2025" released by The National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP. When my spouse suffered a major health event almost a year ago, I found myself thrust into this world. As a social worker and retired military spouse, I was able to channel my unique wisdom and experiences to develop a practical and effective plan for survival. What I love about these tips is that they are simple, cost-effective, and don't take up much time to incorporate. And they can have quick, noticeable results in how you feel and function on a day-to-day basis.
1. Practice gratitude.
As a mental health professional, I know the importance of gratitude. Practicing gratitude moves your brain toward having more positive thoughts and perspectives. It's a muscle that will help your outlook become more positive over time. I encourage clients to start by naming three things for which you are grateful. It's simple, quick, and can make a world of difference. Stay tuned for a blog later this month where we will dive into the science of how practicing gratitude can literally change your brain.
2. Focus on your identity.
Think about what feeds your soul and how you can creatively add touches back into your life, even if it looks very different. The inability to travel as before is a common challenge for caregivers. Would you consider taking a virtual tour online? Or watching a travel show on TV? You could even plan a theme night by matching your meal to the destination. My favorite grocery store has a delicious frozen butter chicken entree for around $5. Reading a library book set in Tahiti can also be a simple way to soak in some new culture.
3. Keep a routine.
Again, three can be a magic number. Plan something simple in the morning, at midday, and when you are winding down at night. If you aren't someone who enjoys a special coffee or tea, maybe you would enjoy spending a few minutes in prayer or meditation. Sign up for a daily inspirational quote or text a friend a good morning greeting. Completing a task at the same time of day is also a good way to get through your chores. By intentionally setting up structure, you are telling your nervous system that you are safe and can manage the passage of time with ease.
4. Get outside.
Have you ever noticed the magic that happens when you take a fussy baby outside? Fresh air and a bit of sunshine can do wonders for your mood and outlook. Connecting with nature is a wonderful way to change the scenery from medicine bottles and medical equipment. Just a few minutes can remind your nervous system that you are part of a beautiful community of life that will keep thriving even when your tiny neck of the woods feels out of control.
5. Build community.
When a loved one is homebound or your schedule is full of doctor visits and physical therapy, loneliness can feel like the companion you can't seem to shake. Isolation can quickly turn into depression. Thoughts and fears can snowball or develop a life of their own when they aren't shared. What could happen if you took a few minutes to chat with your neighbor while gathering your mail? Have you thought about joining a support group? Social media hosts many caregiver pages where one person's plea of "I can't do this anymore" will result in numerous supportive responses. You are not alone; don't allow yourself to believe this.
6. Move your body.
Incorporating movement can be another great way to build routine. You're not looking to lose 20 pounds or enter a bodybuilding competition. Simplicity is the name of this game. I have a playlist entitled "Boogie Nights" for when I am singing and dancing while doing the mundane task of washing dishes. If you have stairs, instead of just going up once, take another rotation. Five pushups here, five pushups there. Set a timer if you sit for long periods of time. When the timer goes off, take a lap around your house, or better yet, around the block.
7. Give yourself grace.
I vividly remember a time when I had my second newborn and postpartum hormones were raging. I felt so anxious and on edge, I didn't know how I was going to get through the day. I can still recall telling myself, "All you have to do today is keep breathing." Caregivers don't have the luxury of "just breathing," but you can give yourself permission to lower your standards and cut corners where it is safe to do so.
8. Invite humor.
I have adopted the following mantra: "If I don't laugh, I will cry." My spouse lived in a rehab facility for several weeks. As we became familiar with other residents, we noticed that one woman's attempts at communication reminded us of a mystical cartoon bird from one of our favorite movies. We would hear her and say, "There's Kevin!" This term of endearment evoked cherished memories of family movie nights that were such an important ritual through all the ups and downs of military lifestyle. Using humor works best when it is not at the expense of others and encourages perspective to shift away from darker thoughts.
9. Accept offers of support.
Think of it this way: One awkward moment of answering the door to a meal train delivery could provide a new recipe that will save your children from screaming, "Not another meatloaf!" Seriously, I believe we can change the world by destigmatizing the acceptance of offers for help. Carpools, grocery shopping, and housecleaning can lighten your load so that you can focus on what is most important.
10. Seek professional help.
If you are wondering whether starting therapy could help you get through difficult times, please reach out to one of our therapists to schedule a free, 20-minute consultation.
About the Author
Andrea Merit, ASW, MSW is a social worker and retired military spouse who brings unique insights to caregiving through her professional expertise and personal experience.
