Beyond the Thanksgiving table: How gratitude literally changes your brain's structure. Our ASW Andrea breaks down the research that transforms a cultural tradition into a clinical intervention.
By Andrea Meritt, ASW, MSW
After my spouse had a major health setback and we knew the road to recovery was long and challenging, gratitude quickly became my go-to coping skill. I was so thankful he still had his sense of humor and that we had been assigned a physical therapist who was highly invested in his rehabilitation. When he moved to a rehabilitation hospital, we knew it was a good sign that their cafeterias had our beloved diet Dr. Pepper available at their fountain soda stations. Over the next several months, we continued to experience setbacks and received disheartening news. Gratitude was like the warm bath I would soak in after the coldest days of winter.
Prior to the family health crisis, deliberately practicing gratitude was not something that came natural to me. In my line of work, I am often privileged to bear witness when clients experience breakthroughs. About a year prior, I had an unforgettable conversation with a therapy client who was discharging. We were reflecting on our time together: what was helpful to her, what wasn’t, what she learned about herself. I was shocked when she told me how much practicing gratitude changed her life.
If you're skeptical about the effectiveness of this simple practice, let me introduce you to one of my favorite authors. In his book, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” Viktor Frankl shares vivid stories of his time in concentration camps during the holocaust. Frankl was a successful neurologist and psychologist who practiced for many years after World War II. He wrote, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves," and "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." Frankl attributed these simple ideas to his survival in some of the worst experiences a human can face.
I think it is important to acknowledge that our culture does not often endorse the simplicity of gratitude. For many of us who are prone to rigid, black or white thought patterns, practicing gratitude can feel uncomfortable or even a bit frightening. Many of us also subscribe to the illusion that if we ruminate on worst case scenarios, we gain a sense of control. A common misconception is that if you practice gratitude, then you are minimizing or ignoring the more uncomfortable, painful side of reality. As a clinician, I would never propose that anyone ignore pain, sadness or grief. It is extremely important to name these emotions and allow them to take their course.
However, we do not have to stay in these emotions. I often visualize a person standing in front of two boxes. One contains negative emotions: worry, fear, anger. The other box contains gratitude. Choosing gratitude is like grabbing hold of that box and taking it with you for the day. When you choose gratitude, you are setting the path toward goodness.
For survival purposes (think caveman times), our brains are wired to look for threats. Since we are no longer in danger of the sabre-tooth tiger, moving our thoughts toward a more positive lens can bring about many desired improvements. In an article entitled, “The Neuroscience of Gratitude and Its Effects on the Brain,” Dr. Melissa Madeson takes an in-depth look at the impact of gratitude, noting that the practice can reinforce social connection, increase empathy and improve mood. There is a common phrase in the brain world that states: “neurons that fire together, wire together.” I often use the analogy of rolling a marble in the sand. The more you roll the marble through a certain path, the deeper it becomes. Practicing gratitude has also shown to increase happiness chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. The more you practice gratitude, the more regulated your nervous system becomes. You will likely notice feeling calmer and more optimistic.
As you begin to implement this practice, you may begin to see the endless opportunities to incorporate it into your life. The size of gratitude does not matter, it's the consistency that is important. Sharing gratitude with others is also a meaningful way to expand this benefit as it helps to grow connection. Think about how encouraging it feels when someone shares their appreciation for you. Gratitude also helps us to reframe our focus to building blocks that have already been laid. Problems tend to look smaller when you realize you aren’t starting from scratch. Finally, don't forget to practice gratitude toward yourself. You can be your biggest cheerleader.
Thank you for investing your time to read this blog. We would greatly appreciate your comments on how you practice gratitude.
