Between frequent relocations, deployments, schedule unpredictability, and separation from support systems, the challenges of military families are significant and should not be ignored. Because of the demands of military life, service members and their families navigate distinct social challenges that impact their relationships, daily lives, and emotional health.
Why Social Health Should Be a Priority for Military Families:
Building Resilience Through Connection
By Peyton Fisher, MSW, ASW
It’s not a secret that military families face unique pressures. Between frequent relocations, deployments, schedule unpredictability, and separation from support systems, the challenges of military families are significant and should not be ignored.
Social health, defined as the adequate quantity and quality of relationships in a particular context to meet an individual’s need for meaningful human connection (Doyle & Link, 2024) is an often overlooked yet increasingly important component of overall health. When supporting military families through the cumulative stressors of service-centered life, social health must be part of the conversation.
In this blog post, we dive into why intentional connection and community-building are essential tools for resilience in military life.
An integral part of being human is the need for connection to other humans—belonging is as fundamental to survival as food and water (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). While belonging may look different from person to person, our sense of connectedness consistently impacts quality of life, emotional well-being, and resilience.
Connection supports emotional regulation, builds flexibility, and acts as a protective factor against acute and chronic stressors. Our human psyche finds safety in the presence of healthy, high-quality relationships. Consequently, emotional and mental well-being also reinforce social connection; people who are more emotionally regulated also tend to seek out, engage in, and maintain supportive relationships. The cycle both supports itself and empowers resilience.
The Unique Social Challenges Military Families Face
Because of the demands of military life, service members and their families navigate distinct social challenges that impact their relationships, daily lives, and emotional health. While many of these challenges are logistical or geographic, others stem from cultural norms and psychological barriers that complicate connection and belonging.
Frequent Relocations
Military families, on average, move every 2.5 years (Military Family Advisory Network, 2024). Each relocation requires adjusting to new routines, environments, jobs, and social networks. Military kids must navigate unfamiliar schools, forge friendships, and build new trusted relationships within their new communities. Adults must find a way to create a social support network, often from scratch, that will help fill in the gaps of childcare and psychosocial support at a time when they are likely most in need.
Military families talk often about the emotional burnout of starting over again in a new place. Though it is generally recognized that making and pouring into new, healthy relationships will ultimately support resilience and well-being, military families know better than anyone that the fatigue that comes with starting anew time and time again can discourage them from even the healthiest of habits.
Deployments and Family Separation
Prolonged separations and fluctuating schedules impact family dynamics and social support. Deployments can bring about abrupt disruptions in routine for military children, just as they are also experiencing the emotional stress of being separated from a caregiver. Military spouses must become jacks of all trades, managing multiple roles and playing many parts, while also navigating the responsibility of carrying their children through the rollercoaster of having a caregiver gone for an extended period of time. Loneliness becomes more likely during prolonged separations and the strain of maintaining emotional closeness across physical distance can take its toll. Families also report that, just as new routines are being established and roles settled into, reintegration after deployment, again, induces role renegotiation and social strain.
Whether living on- or off-base, military families may struggle to feel fully integrated. On-base families often find it difficult to form meaningful relationships due to the inherent transience of the community and families who live off-installation report that people in their local communities don’t understand the unique challenges of military life, leading them to feel unsure of their standing within the social landscape.
Practical Ways Military Families Can Prioritize Social Health
Seeking out intentional communities—whether they are on- or off-base—can help military families form go-to connection hubs. Family readiness groups, spouse clubs, and recreation centers all offer on-base programming and structured community, while off-base, military families might look to local libraries, their school communities, gyms, faith communities, and recreational activities to help socially integrate into their new duty station.
Consider joining local parent groups, engaging in volunteer opportunities, or trying out hobby-based organizations to help build up social support networks after a PCS. While fatigue and time constraints are often real barriers that must be overcome, developing an intentional plan for connection in a new community can ease isolation and help us find belonging in unfamiliar places.
When distance separates loved ones, using technology in a healthy, balanced way via video calls, group chats, and sharing of photos and videos can help ease the burden of distance. Military families might also consider the use of online communities to find support. The key is balance; we want to use technology in addition to, not in place of, the support of in-person relationships
Military kids are no strangers to resilience. Caregivers can support the continual building of this adaptability and flexibility by intentionally supporting their involvement in community activities. Consider enrolling children in extracurriculars, sports, or clubs early for continuity of activity across moves and to help them find their own friendships and social support networks at new duty stations.
Military families are used to gritting their teeth and getting through even the most difficult of times, however, accepting help is one of the most powerful community-building tools we have. Allowing others to help with meals, trade off childcare, or provide other types of support strengthens community ties and emotional resilience.
Social connection is not just desirable—it is essential to the human experience and, as such, must be protected and encouraged among military families. Loneliness is increasingly prevalent within the military community and it is time that we pay attention to it as an essential factor in the health and readiness of our servicemembers and their families.
Social health is foundational to the overall wellness of our military families. While it might require creativity and courage at times, prioritizing connection is a requirement for resilience. Considering social health to be as essential as physical and mental health will help us create more well-connected communities, stronger families, and healthier individuals.
Baumeister RF, Leary MR. The need to belong: desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychol Bull. 1995 May;117(3):497-529. PMID: 7777651.
Doyle, D. M., & Link, B. G. (2024). On social health: history, conceptualization, and population patterning. Health Psychology Review, 18(3), 626–655. https://doi.org/10.1080/17437199.2024.2314506
Effects of moving on military families. Military Family Advisory Network. (2024, November 7). https://www.mfan.org/topic/moving-permanent-change-of-station/effects-of-moving-on-military-families/
